Some definitions for you to ponder…
BANDSTAND: The area furthest away from an electrical outlet.
BIG BAND: Nowadays, an aggregation consisting of two musicians.
CLASSICAL COMPOSER: A man ahead of his time and behind in the rent.
DOUBLE BASS: The instrument the folks footing the bill feel is unnecessary.
DOWNBEAT: The magazine that would have you believe that all jazz musicians are working.
JAZZ: The only true American art form beloved by Europeans.
MELLOPHONE: An instrument best put to use when converted into a lamp.
MOVIE COMPOSER: Someone who can write like anyone except himself.
NEW AGE: A musical substitute for Valium.
ORCHESTRATOR: The musician who enhances a composer’s music, only to be chastised for it.
PERCUSSIONIST: A drummer who can’t swing.
PERFECT PITCH: The ability to pinpoint any note and still play out of tune.
SIDEMAN: The appellation that guarantees a musician will never be rich.
STEADY ENGAGEMENT: Look up in Webster’s Dictionary under the word ”imagination.”
UNION REP: A guy who thinks big bands are coming back.
VERSE: The part of a tune that’s disposable, except to its composer.